About Eternals

Her face looked as if she knew his worst suffering and it was hers and she wished to bear it like this, coldly, asking no words of mitigation.

“You’re wrong,” he said. They could always speak like this to each other, continuing a conversation they had not begun. His voice was gentle. “I don’t feel that.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“I want you to know. What you’re thinking is much worse than the truth. I don’t believe it matters to me – that they’re going to destroy it. Maybe it hurts so much that I don’t even know I’m hurt. But I don’t think so. If you want to carry it for my sake, don’t carry more than I do. I’m not capable of suffering completely. I never have. It goes only down to a certain point and then it stops. As long as there is that untouched point, it’s not really pain. You mustn’t look like that.”

“Where does it stop?”

“Where I can think of nothing and feel nothing except that I designed that temple. I built it. Nothing else can seem very important.”

“You shouldn’t have built it. You shouldn’t have delivered it to the sort of thing they’re doing.”

“That doesn’t matter. Not even that they’ll destroy it. Only that it had existed.”

 

AR

About the End of the World

About the End of the World

At Sunrise, you kissed my hand and then we set sail…

Into our own second summer built with the patience that you have taught me during the nights when you smoked your cigarette in the dark and I watched you through the ashy smoke then let my saving pencil write the words you love so much.

Into my poems floating on the waters around us with your lips burning on my skin harder than the God of Sun.

Into the last lyric of our story which felt like the first of Aion’s unbounded, eternal time enclosing our universe.

Into the colorful lights of the terrace above the rooftops of stars and planets where space melted into tears of joy in my palms.

Into the lines traced by the big ships we saw through our glasses held tight together as you came close and kissed me on my forehead.

Into the eyes that watched me kiss your white collar while I whispered to you that my biggest fear was them, standing in front of us.

Into your words that brought comfort to that thought so I looked back at them and knew that we will never be old.

Into the silence of the breeze of the deserted bridge when you whispered on my neck what I have always known…

At Sunset, you took my hands into yours and then we flew…

Above the streets where the smallest of people were fading.

Above the purple lights of the widest windows where saxophones were bringing the night after midnight.

Above our tower of glass dissolving into the orange flowing lamps.

Above your words which drew my contour on the waves of the curtains caressing the horizon.

Above all the lights of the unseen world writing our skystory which you read to me in the darkness, smoking your cigarette, so that I could watch you again and see you as you are, with your first ever smile, the one I saw in my dream before you came to me all dressed in black.

At Dawn, the Sun and the Moon were one.

Our hands were numb.

Time stopped.

I was the Queen and you were the King. One skin, one breath, one word.

Music was lingering on our crowns. Phoenix rose above our bed and we felt its feathers on our naked backs.

The Nordic shores were succumbing under the warm waves. We loved each other with the end of the world on our fingertips and that will be the only memory of our new life.

We had been alive, out of time and space and now found our way back to peace from where life starts

All over again

Each morning

At Sunrise.

M.

 

 

About our Sea at Scheveningen

There’s metal gray and liquid blue, the birds are lost in howling winds,

The desert skies push on the edge of our world built on their wings.

But then we smile and become the masters of the waves

And silence them on our shores before our skins meet.

I know it looks like Vincent’s sea when we fall asleep

But when aware and wide awake it’s always summer deep.

M.

About the Forever Gone

About the Forever Gone

One winter night I dreamt that I got lost under my pen and the wrong train took me back to the haven of my past.

I got off and did not move, did not breathe, ghosts were touching the tips of my hair,

I waited, with my eyes closed, scared and numb, in the cold darkness, close to the tracks, for the first sound of the wheels, so that I can come back,

Desperately! Desperately back to what matters, back to the only thing that really exists.

This moment.

You felt my dream too because when I told you its story you were still waiting for your train, to bring you back to what matters, the only one that really exists,

Me.

And after all this time, on a summer night, when other arms took me up to the skies I love so much, watching over the Nordic shores,

I saw everything clearly, like the reflection of the waters where you had first kissed me.

I heard the words she had said to me her whole life, over and over again, putting her old hands on my trembling knees… “Wait… the time will come…”

From above, the city streets filled up with our blue waves and our short victories and I felt an almost deadly joy because I had lived you, I had loved you and then I knew.

You have taught me Patience.

And carved your love on my skin in a white house on an island, to wear it forever in the times to come.

Our time has been like A Few Seconds Before Sunrise,

“so sweet, so soft, so calm, all that’s you in a breath”

And that night I knew that you will be mine forever, a Sun God.

Behind your handprints on my neck are all the words you said to me from the tower of glass,

In the days and nights when I loved you the most.

I see the trees bending with the breeze and I hear their music calling for the autumn when all you’ll have to do is ask me if I still want you.

Desperately! Desperately!

You’re the only past I’d ever go back to!

M.

About a Sort of Fairy tale

About a Sort of Fairy tale

On the first morning of the newly born year, six hours later, in the longest of times

In the endless bed covered in linden flowers where you lay on the left side since you know I’m your right,

You became the last hero of the world. I knew you had come to tell me you were still looking for the answer.

I took you in my arms and I couldn’t see your eyes like in all the dreams before the one in which you found me lost in a labyrinth and said “Let’s go home!”

You were quiet and still but I could feel your heart on your glowing skin, racing with the despair they had found running through your blood.

That beautiful darkness of yours was drawing my lips to your temples to seal them with peace.

And you knew I had to get closer like that time in the blue waters.

I was scared we would both wake up but I couldn’t break the spell calling me to you, my lips had to touch you one last time just like when you rushed up the streets of the cold island to see me one last time.

The drawing forces of the Sun, us, the forever searching souls.

My closed eyes were moving on the contour of your silence, I was holding you tight and gentle like our night and when my lips finally touched you I felt the taste of your whole life in my half asleep half awake dream. Remember that feeling, the one we almost feared while walking on the glass dome close to the sunset?

When my lips touched you in all our realities everything outside our embrace became a dream, just like Heaven, an empty promise with swans swimming on its shores.

When my lips touched you I knew that life was what you touch and feel and sacred is only that which makes you want to live, not just survive. And that never leaves.

Dreams do.

We were dizzy with reality on the glass sky above the island…

When my lips touched you my body shook with a new pleasure, the one of the truth, because you see, when you came to me you were not the answers to my questions, but the meaning behind the questions, the meaning behind the roads that have led me into my life, to arrive there, in that moment, with you.

And that is the only reality I will ever want.

When my lips touched you I knew that I could die there and then because of too much joy and pleasure, then and there, with a smile on my lips, which is the only worthy way of dying.

When my lips touched you it was completeness, summers and loneliness, skies and fears, words and longings, on a canvas, under the tip of the black crayon. All the beauty of the worlds in one truth: no more running.

Now that we were both awake in a breathless silence, I had the courage to whisper in your ear the story of my first prayer.

As you were fading, I used my words to beg your God, the one you love and need so much, but didn’t trust…

I begged him to tell you that this was the time to fight!

I held you because I knew your fears, I told you to not betray your mind… We cannot not be who we are!

Happiness is the goal of life and you are right to want it! You have been looking for it for so long. It is happiness that goes against evil because it builds on goodness only… Don’t believe them when they say they didn’t know!

Dawn was taking you away and this time you held on tight to my wrists… I screamed… I wanted the pain and not the emptiness.

It was About Fear opening my eyes to your forever last words and you, lost somewhere far, numb, watching your sun setting into my morning.

Across the ocean lies the Woman In Gold, her eyes soul searching too. She calls my road to her before I turn to you.

You, all the shades of gold,

You, my love, my purpose and my words on each page.

You will know when that time will come.

You will know, just as you know now,

The answer has always been inside of you.

M.

About Longings

Thirsty, I drink your fragrance, and touch your cheeks with

Both hands, the same way you cradle a miracle in your soul.

Our closeness burns as we stand eye to eye

Yet you whisper  “I miss you so …”

Deeply, secretly, eagerly

Like I’m wandering exiled in another world.

TA