About Findingyourself

“She survived it.  She was able to survive it because she did not believe in suffering.  She faced with astonished indignation the ugly fact of feeling pain, and refused to let it matter.  Suffering was a senseless accident, it was not part of life as she saw it.  She would not allow pain to become important.  She had no name for the kind of resistance she offered, for the emotion from which the resistance came; but the words that stood as its equivalent in her mind were:  It does not count- it is not to be taken seriously.  She knew these were the words, even in the moments when there was nothing left within her but screaming and she wished she could lose the faculty of consciousness so that it would not tell her that what could not be true was true.  Not to be taken seriously- an immovable certainty within her kept repeating- pain and ugliness are never to be taken seriously.

She fought it. She recovered. Years helped her to reach the day when she could face her memories indifferently, then the day when she felt no necessity to face them. It was finished and of no concern to her any longer.

She had won the battle against her memories.”

She had become that which she had needed to be and there would be nothing dragging her back.

Ayn Rand



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