What am I to you?
I wish I could paint the blue of the sky behind you,
your beautiful glowing skin, your gentle lost eyes.
That was the face of freedom and happiness and that’s how you should walk in the streets of this world.
The joy of realization.
I wish I could paint your calm desperate breathing before you answered.
There was no doubt.
I wish I knew which colors to use for the joy you brought me with your words, what God must have felt when his creation was completed.
They joy of an answered prayer.
Words, what our thread was made of, bringing the joy the children gods must have felt when they were playing in the heavens.
So I wear you around my neck, in this moment in time, to remind myself that being a slave or a God is not a destiny, but a choice,
that happiness is not the absence of pain, but courage,
that love is not a battle field, but knowledge and serenity, lightness, easiness,
that life is not suffering and only cowards hide under it and tell you it is the same as love and taking chances.
I wish I could paint that joy that lingered on your lips, our truth, we were the mirrors or each other, and you believed that you were meant to be happy on this earth and in this lifetime, you were not scared then, you knew it, I knew it!
The unmistakable joy of the truth.
I had my grieving time, now you must have yours.
Take it my love, we all need it.
It is peaceful. You know I won’t give up on you, you asked me not to.
It is peaceful, as it should be, this kind of love, the one we made ourselves.
The Sun you sent to me was turning the sky violet pink, it looked like an abyss. Those were the colors of our unspoken joy.
The joy of victory over destiny.
I showed it to you and then, like in a mirror, our tears started to fall.
The Blue blooded King and Queen crying and loving in complete awareness.
It was the first ever distance between us.
We both knew it was the last time.